An exercise in creativity. What do you do when you find a woman's voice saying, "Stop" and "Don't Stop" eight different ways, each? After listening to this, a friend said it reminded him of his standard date night experience.

This is a piece of work done by Al Peterson, Production Director at WLAD/98Q in Danbury, CT nearly 30 years ago. This audio was featured on the January 1992 RAP Cassette and came with the following story you must read first before listening: -----

"Here is the cut that has driven strong men into the night in tears: FLOWER GIRL!!! If you didn't read about it the first time in Radio World [March 27, 1991], here's the outline:

Nicky Stevenson (old and drunk) came 'round the station some months back with a cassette of his "songs" for us to play on the air. His music consisted of him blathering into a Yorx cassette machine -- no music, no drum tracks, nada. Just a few memorable titles like, "Oh Lisa," "I'm a Good Shoe," and "Snowball Baby" shouted onto tape with 86-proof inspiration.

All it took was one guy here saying, "Gee, that would be pretty funny if it were set to music." Well, that was a challenge too good to pass up, so I took Nicky's cassette home over vacation, extracted a few "useable" lines to figure out the key and tempo, and spent two days putting music together. Basically, it was the equivalent of a jigsaw puzzle completely painted white -- thoroughly impossible but fun trying.

Especially memorable was the modulation from E/flat to D (made possible by a hellish combination of chords resembling a freight train wreck).

The reel has a few seconds of Nicky on his own from the cassette he gave me. After that, "Flower Girl" in all its stereophonic splendor. If his voice sounds different in the finished work, it was drowned in Alesis reverb and goosed with a touch of Aphex -- anything to kill the hiss.

If you've ever heard of someone trying to save a piece of audio "in the mix," you'll love "Flower Girl." It's so horrible, it's hysterical.

PS -- The high pitch heard on the quiet passages is clock noise from a cheap Yamaha synth -- couldn't get it out."

This spoof spot from the archives has been getting some extra plays this month. Written, voiced and produced by Jon Lockwood back in 1995 while at WCRZ/WWBN/WFNT in Flint, MI, as featured on the January 1995 RAP Cassette. Enjoy!

Classic song turned into a duet by Don Elliot back in the days of 2-tracks and razor blades! Story behind the edit here: https://www.rapmag.com/a/372-15/jun15/3678-elvis-and-linda-love-me-tender

Excellent production of the classic poem, voiced and produced by Von Coffman... and monetized by one of the salespeople :)
Merry Christmas!

Ken Boyer is one of the people on the ground filming lava and helping families know the status of there homes in evacuated areas. He encourages people to make a difference.

This is a great idea submitted by Al Peterson. Al adds these notes:

A consultant at the recent Talkers conference is telling station managers to create an on-air voice drop that says, "Hey Alexa ...(pause) ... play the [morning show podcast]!", complete with the mandatory pause that activates the data assistant.

Alexa is already doing too much for lazy fat-assed Americans and she's fighting back!

Fun to splice into some rotating fake "Hey Alexa!" promos on a rocker. FWIW, the voice came off this website: https://www.naturalreaders.com/online/ -- with a little filtering and speaker distortion provided by a vintage copy of Cool Edit.