by Flip Michaels
"When I write copy, the world should stop moving. People should stop knocking, ringing, and asking. No what-ifs, I-needs, or ASAPs. Take the chair, make the revision, and LET ME CREATE!"
That's how I feel before reading my wallpaper. Wallpaper? Yeah, you know...those catchy bits of knowledge people photocopy back and forth. I'm sure you have a few favorites of your own. A "colloquial" Cheat Sheet for the overwhelmed. For example:
Winner vs. Loser
The Winner is always part of the answer.
The Loser is always part of the problem.
The Winner always has a program.
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Winner says, "Let me do it for you."
The Loser says, "That's not my job."
The Winner sees an answer for every problem.
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.
The Winner sees a green near every sand trap.
The Loser sees sand traps near every green.
The Winner says, "It may be difficult, but it is possible."
The Loser says, "It may be possible, but it is too difficult."
Be a Winner!
Feel better? Usually it works. No venting, no frustration -- just reading the ol' wallpaper.
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
When I called David Jay (Prod-god, WIOQ, Philadelphia) to congratulate him on his newly acquired RAP Award, he laughed. "Just don't call me a genius!" Confused, I asked for the story behind the statement. His fax was so humorous, I just had to share it with you:
Chances are, you've been labeled as a "genius" by a few salespeople at your radio station. As you do your best work, they get produced commercials they've never heard before. "You're a genius!" You're able to take voices, music, sound effects, words, and put them all together to create an image...timed illusions...theatre of the mind...the A.E. says, "You did that with the little bit of copy I gave you? You're a (both of you say it at the same time) GENIUS!" How boring. This is the nine hundredth time an Account Executive has said that. So...I looked up genius in the dictionary. Genius - (jen-yus) a person with a very high intelligence quotient and having a great natural ability. WHAT! (ALARM goes off) Natural ability my ass! What about the years, tears, and down right sweat I put into perfecting my skill? The time spent at the editing block? The endless days and nights producing spots? And while the other jocks were out mackin' the babes, I was a slave, chained to the Otari 5050. What about all those little tricks I developed? Looping tape to make a music bed. Putting scotch tape on the pinch roller to change my voice. Playing things backwards for a different effect. And not to mention the digital domain. "Hey man, there are no reels turning, and sound is coming out!" This ought to take the old dog awhile to learn this new trick. How about the countless clients I've had to endure? The last minute changes? The spot that runs in ten minutes? The Friday rush? The A.E.s? The G.S.M.s? The A.S.A.P.s? Who else would put up with the pain and the agony? No one! Not one single person. And........oh my god!....I'm not a genius. I'm an idiot....
So, now, when the Account Executive says, "Dave, you're a genius," I present a warm smile and politely say, "Thank you for the compliment," because I know I've got them all fooled.
Thanks for the wallpaper Dave.
♦